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Capone-Ordered Inquiry Finds No Wrongdoing in Chicago

March 22, 2006 No Comments

CHICAGO, March 22 — An inquiry ordered by Alphonse Capone into alleged "improprieties" by his employees in the greater Chicago area has found that the Capone Organization did not violate any laws in carrying out its operations in the fields of leisure activities, private business security, personal loans and government relations.

To underscore the importance and independence of the probe, Capone tapped

Late-Breaking News: USA Wins Vietnam War

March 21, 2006 No Comments

Good evening and welcome to Conglomerate News Network. I’m your host, Teat Hodgkins. Tonight we open with some startling news from Southeast Asia: The United States has won the Vietnam War. Our roving reporter, Jimbo Hooper, joins us from Ho Chi Minh City. Jimbo?

Thanks, Teat. Yes, long after we all thought the final whistle had blown, plucky Team USA pulled out a last-second miracle to clinch victory in the hard-fought Vietnam War. As our viewers will recall – or maybe not, since it was such a long time ago

Children of Abraham: Death in the Desert

March 19, 2006 No Comments

*This piece has been edited since the original posting to incorporate new information. Most recent update: 27 March.*

What
happened in the village of Abu Sifa, in the rural Al-Isahaqi district
north of Baghdad, on the Ides of March? The murk of war – the natural
blur of unbuckled event, and its artificial augmentation by
professional massagers – shrouds the details of the actual operation.
But here is what we know.

We know that U.S. forces conducted a raid on a house in the village on March 15. We know

Man Overboard

March 19, 2006 No Comments

Of Manliness and Men. An NYT interview with Harvard neo-conservative and professional feminist-basher Harvey C. Mansfield.

Think what it must be like to have lived for 73 years and still be as big a fool as this man.

The “Maverick” Makes a Move

March 18, 2006 No Comments

McCain Taps Former Bush Political Director (AP)
No need for much comment; the story says it all. Suffice it to say that anyone who still believes that John McCain is some kind of "maverick" who will clean up the monstrous mound of filth left behind by the Bush Regime has rocks in the head. He is not even hiding his pathetic eagerness to be seen as the

Suicidal Tendencies

March 17, 2006 No Comments

Behind the firewall at Salon.com, Smokin’ Joe Conason is red-hot as he takes aim at the rank stupidity displayed in the budget priorities of the Idiot-in-Chief and his Congressional rubberstamps: For folly, billions; for survival, pennies. As a public service, your duly-subscribed and paid-up Uncle E.B. provides you with the whole piece, after the jump. Enjoy – or rather, seethe with outrage.

Judge Dread: Violence, Silence and the Threat to Democracy

March 16, 2006 No Comments

It turns out that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg presaged the recent comments by former Justice Sandra Day O’Connor about the growing threat of right-wing violence against the judiciary – and the concominant threat to American democracy. (What’s left of it.) Both women emphasize the point that this "fringe" threat is being fed and exacerbated by the bellicose and undemocratic rhetoric

Bone Thugs: Bush Puts America on Death Row

March 16, 2006 No Comments

Hardened cynics often accuse President George W. Bush of ruthlessly exploiting the tragedy of 9/11 to advance his pre-set agenda of killing a whole heap of foreigners. This is, of course, a calumnious slander against the Dear Leader’s noble ambitions. For as he clearly demonstrated last week, Bush is also exploiting the tragedy of 9/11 to advance his pre-set agenda to kill a whole heap of Americans as well.

In yet another of those momentous degradations of public morality that go unremarked by the ever-vigilant watchdogs of the national media,

The Anglo-American ‘Special Relationship’: Sleaze, Repression and Screwing the Poor

March 16, 2006 No Comments

Just like George Bush, Tony Blair depends on the grease of corruption to operate his increasingly unpopular machinery of power. Unlike Bush, however, there are still members of Blair’s own party with enough courage and integrity to call him on the carpet for the sleaze. He’s now been hammered – by Labour’s own treasurer – for succumbing to that ancient evil of British politics: selling royal honors to fat cats in exchange for big dough. Blair plunged into secret loans crisis (The Guardian).

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Back to the Hell-Hole: Bush is Not Closing Abu Ghraib

March 12, 2006 No Comments

You know the big story about how Bush was going to (finally) close Abu Ghraib prison? Well, it turns out that it was all a lie. Who says? The Pentagon — the same people who were peddling the false story just last week, generating lots of nice headlines about how U.S. forces were putting all the prison’s "unseemly associations" behind them, etc.

That was then; this is now. Here’s the new word from the American Forces Information Service of the U.S. Department

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Capone-Ordered Inquiry Finds No Wrongdoing in Chicago

Late-Breaking News: USA Wins Vietnam War

Children of Abraham: Death in the Desert

Man Overboard

The “Maverick” Makes a Move

Suicidal Tendencies

Judge Dread: Violence, Silence and the Threat to Democracy

Bone Thugs: Bush Puts America on Death Row

The Anglo-American ‘Special Relationship’: Sleaze, Repression and Screwing the Poor

Back to the Hell-Hole: Bush is Not Closing Abu Ghraib

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