Shooting Party: Big Bangs in Little Bushworld

Written by Chris Floyd

Tuesday, 30 January 2007 12:50

(Updated below.)
Here's how it works in Jeb Bush's Florida: If you're a convicted felon who has served your time and

paid your debt to society, you can't vote. (You also can't vote if you have a name that is remotely similar to a convicted felon's, or are the wrong color and thereby assumed to be a convicted felon, but that's another story.)

However, while being a convicted felon means you cannot take part in the democratic process in Florida (assuming, for the sake of argument only of course, that a democratic process actually exists in Florida), you can pack all the heat you want, even if you've served time for, er, blowing someone away. As the Sun-Sentinel reveals (via The Gun Guys), "Florida has given concealed weapon licenses to hundreds of people who wouldn't have a chance of getting them in most other states because of their criminal histories. Courts have found them responsible for assaults, burglaries, sexual battery, drug possession, child molestation -- even homicide."

Well, why not? After all, going armed is far more important than going to the polls. We certainly don't want any losers who lacked the political pull to stay out of prison -- like, say, Jeb Bush's daughter Nicole -- to be able to rejoin society and have their say at the ballot box. But we are very happy to supply them with weapons so they can utilize the handy tips they learned in stir. Who cares? It's a well-known fact that losers almost always prey on other losers, so it's not like too many real people get hurt.

The Sun-Sentinel has done yeoman service in digging up these revelations -- a task made harder by the fact that Jeb's rubber-stamp Republican legislature last year "made the names of licensed gun carriers a secret." But hey -- if you know up front who's got a rod and who doesn't, that takes the sport out of it, right? Especially with Florida's equally enlightened "Stand Your Ground" law, which essentially allows you to kill anybody whom you vaguely suspect might be a possible threat to you -- sort of the pre-emptive "National Security Strategy of the United States" in miniature.

Shoot first, ask no questions later, and for God's sake, keep the riff-raff down: that's the Bush way -- in Florida, in Washington, in the world!

UPDATE. More fun in JebWorld: Rape victim jailed, denied medical treatment on 'religious' grounds. (From Fox 13 Tampa, via The Raw Story.)

Excerpt: A young woman was walking back to her car after the Gasparilla parade on Saturday when she says a man dragged her behind a building and raped her near the intersection of Howard and Swann. She managed to get away and called 911. Police took her to the hospital and began a routine rape investigation.

When they started checking the victim's background, they discovered she had an arrest warrant out for her. It was from an arrest when the woman was a juvenile and she was accused of not paying restitution. The woman says she was not aware there was a warrant out for her, and her attorney says it appears to be a paperwork error...

Still, the woman was put in handcuffs and taken to jail. She was not allowed bond, and the medical staff at the jail refused to give her the Morning After Pill even though it had been prescribed at the hospital.

"The medical supervisor would not allow her to take the pill because she said it was against her, the supervisor's, religion. So, here we have a medical supervisor imposing her beliefs on a rape victim," claimed the victim's attorney Virlyn Moore. "As a human being, how someone could be so violated by this monster and then the system comes along and rapes her again psychologically and emotionally - it's outrageous and unconscionable."

Come, come, Virlyn, let's not get all het up over this. What's the big deal? It's obvious that this so-called "victim" is just another loser. She's got a record, for God's sake! Do you think she matters?

As for that pious jailer, I expect we'll see him on the road real soon with Judge Roy Moore and Randall Terry and Sam Brownback and all the other Judgment Sundayers out there putting on the full armor of the Lord and fighting the good fight to bring Christianist rule to this unholy and God-damned land. After all, America needs to breed more warriors for the many battles to come. As the Dear Leader says, "There's no telling how many wars it will take to secure freedom in the homeland." So we can't afford to let a single sperm go to waste -- especially the seed of a hard-charging, can-do fellow spirit like this Tampa rascal. The jailer's refusal to dispense the prescribed medicine to this loser hussy is a perfect example of Bush-style faith-based professionalism in action.
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