Tweeter & the Monkey Man 2: More Missives to the President-Elect

I was reading a story tonight about the poison pen letters Donald Trump sent to then Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond about the government-backed wind farms that Trump felt was ruining the scenery of his Scottish golf course. I was struck by one of the many blustering insults Trump hurled in Salmond’s direction: other countries are “laughing at you” for promoting wind farms, Trump declared. This is of course a line Trump has been pushing for decades: that other countries or other people are “laughing at us” for being weak, dumb, etc. etc. It is obviously a notion that occupies his mind: the fear of being laughed at for weakness, failure, stupidity. He can’t get away from this theme, no matter how successful he is: he comes back to it again and again. Suddenly I thought: shouldn’t we join our august president-elect in his anxiety-ridden quest to find out who might be laughing at him? So I took up his favorite mode of communication, Twitter, and sent him the few helpful messages below. I would encourage everyone who is as concerned as I am about the precarious mental health of our impending leader to take up the cause, and tell Trump just who is laughing at him. It’s your patriotic duty.

Chris Floyd ‏@empireburlesque
@realDonaldTrump Psst, Donnie. Goldman Sachs is LAUGHING AT YOU! They know they'll control you like a puppet. They're LAUGHING AT YOU!

Chris Floyd ‏@empireburlesque
@realDonaldTrump Psst, Don! Deutsche Bank is LAUGHING AT YOU! They know they OWN you and can make you jump like a frog on a griddle.

Chris Floyd ‏@empireburlesque
@realDonaldTrump Foreign banks LAUGHING AT YOU! They now you have no personal power: you're a debt-ridden putz, dancing to their tune.

Chris Floyd ‏@empireburlesque
@realDonaldTrump People know that Pence & Goldman Sachs will CONTROL you. People are LAUGHING AT YOU about it.

Chris Floyd ‏@empireburlesque
@realDonaldTrump Hey Don. Did you know people are LAUGHING AT YOU for being Pence's puppet? They say, "Trump's too dumb to know he's weak!"

Chris Floyd ‏@empireburlesque
@realDonaldTrump Donald Trumpuppet: controlled by foreign banks, Wall Street & a Indiana huckster. We're LAUGHING AT YOU, Donnie!

Then came word that Trump had appointed ancient corporate raider Carl Ichan to be his “advisor” on corporate regulation — that is, on stripping away the few remaining controls on rapacious wankers willing to devour their own communities and country to gorge themselves. So I offered a couple of more helpful insights.

Chris Floyd ‏@empireburlesque
@realDonaldTrump Carl Ichan? Why do you need all these 'advisers'? Aren't you smart enough to figure things out by yourself?

Chris Floyd ‏@empireburlesque
@realDonaldTrump People are LAUGHING AT YOU for picking all these advisors. "Trump's too dumb, needs people to tell him what to do." WEAK!