Pitch and Woo: Shilling Under the Influence

(There is new -- and more newsy -- material  below this post.)

You know, we would never indulge in the shameless shilling of our wares on this site -- ordinarily. But we have been corrupted by the bad example set by Jonathan Schwarz, who -- obviously drawing on the devious mind-control techniques he learned at Stutts University's Walker-Bush Business School -- is hawking his ragbag of Commie propaganda, Our Kampf, over at his site, A Tiny Revolution. So under the malign influence of these Satano-fascist Stutts strutters, we feel strangely compelled to do some pre-Christmas hawking our own self right here.

Now, the Stuttsian elitists at ATR bring out a lot of big guns to endorse their work: Hollywood screenwriters, bookwriters, people with connections to Jon Stewart, Batman and what have you.  But here
at Empire Burlesque, we let the people speak -- the ordinary, hard-working, salt-of-the-earth joes and janes out there in the trenches of today's political battlefields. We feel these completely unsolicited -- and completely genuine -- comments that have come into our blog, and other venues, speak far more eloquently than even the most accomplished Hollywood screenwriter. Attend the truth of the vox populi:

Chris Floyd has been writing the same overblown crap for years, and he's accomplished exactly what?

[Chris Floyd] is "a valuable contributor to the marketplace of ideas"? Yes, if your marketplace is FreeRepublic or LGF. Perhaps you were referring to this little gem: "This is not exactly news, but the national Democratic Party is one big stinking dead horse." Or this: "They are a fetid sack of quivering jellyfish: spineless, boneless, brainless, useless. Now watch them come begging for your money between now and November."  That's not an idea ... it's unhinged emotionalism.

Just a tip: phrases like "radical agenda of loot and dominion" or "deceitful casus belli" may satisfy your dreams of being an Important Writer, Mr. Floyd, but it ain't the way to fire up the masses and attract favorable public opinion.

Floyd, I can't stand the La Passionaria ranting. There are many who find it invigorating, refreshing and righteous. But I'd rather read about exactly what Sen. Reid's office has said today in regards to Dodd's hold.

I am always suspicious of people whom [sic] proclaim to be "independent journalists" while they support Communist propaganda that paints America as the "Great Satan". Here comes the case of Chris Floyd whom [sic] wrote for the Moscow Times which is tied to an Independent Media approvided by the Russian government and of course "Independent Media" types such as Noam Chomsky have promoted "independent journalists" such as Floyd.

My experience has been that people making a living off the f*****g a**hole Chipmunk don't need money and don't want original or independent thinking on their turf; what they need and want is sycophancy.

Listen, can a Russian government-approved independent media type like Noam Chomsky be wrong? So get with the sycophancy already, and order some of these fine products for yourself and your family in this festive season. After all, as a great man once said: "What's life without the occasional detour?"

1. Wheel of Heaven.
This CD -- a rare collector's item if there ever was one, because the collectors of it are sure enough rare -- is now available on iTunes, either piecemeal or the whole shebang, as well as through a number of other download emporiums. It's also available in corporeal form, if that's your, as they say, bag. You can get a good taste of the album at our MySpace, er, space, where you will also find an unreleased song unavailable anywhere else. [There is also a video on YouTube, by director Avalon Floyd.] So be the first on your block -- in your town -- on your continent, even -- to latch onto the Wheel of Heaven.

But don't take our word for it; here is another genuine and unsolicited comment that came over the transom when the CD first came out, in a slightly different vein from those quoted above:

"Here is a voice, a cross between Ry Cooder, John Prine, with a touch of Townes Van Zandt... If you haven't yet listened to Chris's music, you should. As the Hawaiian people say: 'This is Chicken Skin music.'"

You can't beat that with a stick, now can you?

2. Empire Burlesque: The Book
This collection of pieces dating back to 2001 could serve as a handy primer on how we got to where we are today, as well as an historical record of many past crimes and sinister follies that not only have been forgotten in the Memento-like amnesia that afflicts our culture but also planted the seeds of crimes now emerging in full, noxious bloom. It ends in 2006 -- not long before great Democratic electoral triumph that changed everything so much -- and we are working, glacially, on the sequel, but there's still plenty of overblown crap and La Passionaria ranting here that you might have missed the first time around. If nothing else, you can always give it as a gag gift to Cousin Jasper -- you know, the one with the "I Got Me Some at Gitmo" bumper sticker on his car. 

3. Stuff
The CD and book are basically all we got -- unless of course, like some madcap, you have a hankering for Empire Burlesque and/or Wheel of Heaven cups, caps, t-shirts , bibs and what all. In which case, scoot on over to the store at Cafepress.com.