From the "You Can't Make It Up" Department: Cheney Accidentally Shoots Fellow Hunter. From AP: Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and injured a man during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, his spokeswoman said Sunday. Harry Whittington, 78, was "alert and doing fine" after Cheney sprayed Whittington with shotgun pellets on Saturday at the Armstrong Ranch in south Texas, said property owner Katharine Armstrong. Armstrong said Cheney turned to shoot a bird and accidentally hit Whittington. She said Whittington was taken to Corpus Christi Memorial Hospital by ambulance.

Next up: George W. Bush Accidentally Beats Old Lady To Death With Tire Iron While Trying to Snatch $255 Widow's Benefit From Her Hands.

John Stewart (Daily Show)
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"Guns don't shoot people, Dick Cheney shoots people."